When Those Who Love You Hurt You the Most


{affiliate links for resources below}

In my last post, Cracked, Flawed, and Broken, I promised that I would come back and write about distancing ourselves from those who are characterized by hurting, lashing out, criticizing, or abusing.

Sometimes boundaries just have to be established. If we know someone is characterized by abusive behavior, gossip, or just good old fashioned drama, it's not a bad thing to limit our time with them, at least until we see some healthy growth in their lives. It's helpful to ask ourselves if we are that person to someone else, too. Shocking to realize, maybe, but helpful.

If you are that person – the one who can't treat others with care – is it time to get some help? If you are continually caught up in someone else's circle of drama, maybe it's time to set aside the relationship for a time and breathe in healthy gospel-centered friendships. 


When People Are Big and God is Small, Ed Welch - I was so impacted by this book that I read it again a few months later. The subtitle is "Overcoming Peer Pressure, Co-Dependency, and the Fear of Man".

Unoffendable, Brant Hansen - If you find yourself constantly offended by someone or someones, did you know you can set it all aside and find freedom in the truth? Author and radio host Brant Hansen does an excellent job discussing whether or not it's our right to be angry and offended.

You can also hear the interview my husband and I did with Brant on the Homeschooling in Real Life podcast: How the Gospel Makes Us Unoffendable

Moving On: Beyond Forgive and Forget, Ruth Ann Batstone - Ruth Ann Batstone, a child abuse survivor and experienced counselor, has wrestled deeply with these questions and now gives practical, God-honoring direction to others who have been hurt and can't just forgive and forget.

I love the mini-books from New Growth Press. They do come in 5-packs, so be aware of that if you plan to order. Titles that are relevant to our discussion: 

Recovering From Child Abuse

Life Beyond Your Parents' Mistakes

Healing Broken Relationships

Help! My Spouse Committed Adultery