Letters from Oxford - How This Middle-Aged Woman Got In

Go back briefly with me to the spring of 1992. Married for just over 9 months, I stood graduating with a bachelor’s degree that would be used mildly in its specificity, but broadly in its influence on my life and the education of my children. The plan was to pursue a master’s degree after Fletch finished dental school, but by then we were raising two little boys and hoping to have more.

The story gets complicated from heredeep dives into religiosity and an emphasis on playing by the rules of a narrow and extra-Biblical paradigm. For a decade, our lives were bound by what we were being told within that legalistic community, but there were nudges and gentle reminders and really loud wake-up calls that finally moved us out of the weird worlds of homeschool-only, big family, one-way-to-do-life Evangelicalism. Thank God.

I spent 25 years homeschooling our 8 to one extent or another, and I loved most of it. I mean, there were days I wanted to walk out the door and sit poolside with a margarita, but that’s indicative of the long range of any career.

And then the timing was right. Our youngest two (now 16 and 15) are in high school, and I have worked myself out of homeschooling. The potential for a new path suddenly opened up and here I am, at 52 years old, heading to graduate school in October.

I was accepted by the University of Oxford. It wasn’t out of the blue by any means, but it still stunned me the morning the email arrived and I spent that week tripping through my disbelief. My plan at this point in the journey is to record the next two years of this experience here, and I’d love for you to come along.

HOW IT STARTED

It started with a search for courses that could help me boost my experience in literary analysis and theory, which led me to Oxford’s Continuing Education offerings. As I read the site, I quickly realized that I could eventually apply to a master’s program there, but that I needed to make sure this was a school and department I really wanted to be a part of. Both my late brother and a dear friend who chairs the art department at a prestigious university encouraged me to think about where I wanted to be—a master’s program needs to fit you, the student, as much as you need to be a good fit for the program.

After four literature courses, I knew the Master of Studies in Literature and Arts was a program I was highly interested in and probably well-suited for.

How it’s going

Along the way, I’ve had cheerleaders. Don’t minimize the impact of friends and family who will be there to encourage you when the reading is overwhelming and the essay is due. In my case, I married a guy who told me that I’d given 30 years serving our family and now it’s my turn to follow my passion. He even told me I should consider moving away for the year if I needed to—lots of couples live apart to accomplish a short-term goal and he wanted me to be able to dive in unencumbered. I chose a two-year part-time program that requires me to be at the university several times a year, but I’ll be studying from home where I can stay close to a few high schoolers who still need their mom.

There’s a lot more to say about the process, from coursework to passing points/grades to applications and interviews. If you’re planning on applying to grad school as an older or returning student, I’m happy to share. In the meantime, I’m reading a wide variety of books, from those I don’t think I’ll have time for over the next two academic years to those I think might help me as a grad student. If you are a grad or doctoral student, drop me your hints in the comments, please!

Radcliffe Camera, Oxford - Oct 2006, wikicommons

Want to read Anna Karenina with me this summer? I’m offering a free online book club for anyone who would like to tackle Tolstoy. You can send me an email to join the group here.

Until next time,

Kendra

Summer of 2022 News

Hi!

If you’ve read my stuff since way back in the Preschoolers and Peace days, you know it’s relatively quiet on this site. Back then, I wrote and published three times per week, and over here, I’m clocking in at about three times per year.

If you’re somewhat new to my writing over here, I hope three times per year suits you just fine.

Still, I do feel I owe you all some sort of an update on where I’m writing, what I’m writing, where I’m speaking, and what my family is up to. Some of you feel you know all of us because you’ve been here for so long, and I love that!

Writing

Aside from my copious career of three blog posts per year, I’m also sharing my articles with Key Life Ministries and publications that ask me from time to time. Go take a look at the other authors at Key Life — you’ll be encouraged.

Is it time for another book? Perhaps. But I have a firm belief that I should only be writing what God asks me to write, and currently, that’s something else entirely (see “School”).

Speaking

Yes! I still do speak wherever I’m asked. I wrapped up 25 years of homeschooling this year, but I did just speak at a small homeschool gathering last month and will always have a heart to encourage those of you who are still in the trenches. Homeschooling is hard.

My husband and I recently spoke for a week of family camp at Sandy Cove Ministries in Maryland, and we were overwhelmed with gratitude to be back there again. Have you been to Sandy Cove? Go. The leadership team is driven by grace and justice and mercy. For 75 years, the motto of Sandy Cove Ministries has been “Jesus Never Fails.” Amen.

School

I’m back in school! Since I graduated with my BA a million years ago (okay, just 30), I’ve wanted to pursue a Master’s degree. But 30 years changes a lot of things, and my desire for an MA in music has become a desire for an MA in literature. I’ve been studying online through Oxford University, and I’ll be applying for grad programs this fall. Wish me luck!

Instead of articles and books, I’ve been writing essays. Lots and lots of essays.

Teaching

And all of this brings me to the fact that I’ve also been teaching literature and writing online through Outschool. I adore this job! My students are from all over the world and they bring rich perspectives and ideas to our discussions. If you have a student in your home, I’d love to have them join us. You can find all of my Outschool classes here.

My goal is to continue to teach online, wherever that is in the future. Come see me on Instagram @kendrafletcherteaches

Our Family

There are a lot of us, so here’s a quick rundown:

Hayden is 29 and does all of the digital content and marketing for a music school in the Bay Area.

Nate is 27 and married to Jayne. They live about 10 minutes from us, which is super fun since they have our two grandbabies and one on the way!

Jack is 25 and works in a restaurant in Portland, OR. We wish he’d move closer but we also envy the beauty of his location.

Abby is 23 and working on her teaching credential. She has a biology degree and will be teaching high school biology. God bless her.

Caroline is 21 and is working as the scheduler for Fletch’s practice. She’s studying philosophy and also working part-time for the local opera company.

Annesley (Lola or Lalo, depending on who’s saying it) is 18 and studying early childhood development, but she’s seriously considering culinary school.

Christian is 15 and creates music every day. He loves to skateboard around town and is really digging being an uncle.

Joe is 14, but due to his brain injury, is developmentally about 6. We could write volumes about this kid, so feel free to ask if you’re curious. Yes, he still adores Peppa Pig.

Fletch and I just celebrated 31 years of marriage and we still really like each other. You guys, I’m in love!

Thank you for continuing to hang out here. My mission, so to speak, has never really changed: Help people get free from crappy religious behavior and learn to just simply follow Jesus. Lots of people these days call that deconstruction, but I don’t care what it’s called as long as it’s all about Jesus.

Need help leaving legalism? I’m still here to do that, too.